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Messi girlfriend was trying to wake messi up from sleep this morning.

Posted by ZAYD4LUV on Tuesday, June 4, 2013 , under | comments (0)



AKPOS

Posted by Angel❤ on Monday, May 27, 2013 , under | comments (0)



HI 9JA
Akpos was about to die,so he decided to call a pastor.The doctor said that the level of alcohol in his system has destroyed his liver and he has only a day to live.The pastor told akpors to say after him,"Lord as i come to join you in paradise,accept my soul.Forgive me of all my sins and make me whole".After all the recitation,akpors said that he has one last wish.The pastor asked,"what is it?".Akpors replied,"Could u get me one last bottle of beer".

Akpos the lecturer in Gwagalada, University of Abuja decided to give his students a test. He asked them to write the answers as he read out the questions. Instructions says: Canceling answers not allowed) Akpors the Lecturer: Question 1: What's your favorite food? [10 mrks] Female students were writing, Pizza, fried rice, Hamburger, icecream, sharwama and all sorts of Chinese cuisine..... Lecturer Akpors: Question 2: How do you prepare the food? [50 marks] Huh!! immediately, the female students started cancelling andchanging the foods to, beans, cocoyam, & abacha, bolee and porridge yam, indomine, white rice with no soup!!! why Do Girls Pretend?

1. OCHUKO: y are sleepin on topof d wall clock? AKPORS: bcos my fada said i shuld wake up on time 2. EKAITTE: since we started dating, u hardly smile, y? AKPORS: dat is bcos u said u wanted a serious relationship 3. OCHUKO: wetin u dey do? AKPORS: I wan hang myself to death OCHUKO: y u come tie d rope for ur waist na? AKPORS: Bros, dat neck own dey pain ooo

After blocking Akpors from sending friend request to Ekaitte, he wrote a letter to fb. Dear Facebook, It's with great pleasure that I write to you. Firstly, allow me to express my sincere thanks to you for allowing me to be on you and indeed for giving me thousands of cyber friends.Further thanks for allowing meto keep in touch with my loved ones. But I have a few observations to make. 1. When a man updates their status, they'll get 2 likes and 3 comments from their former classmates and 0 friend requests... but if the same status is updated by a lady, they get 170 likes, 350 comments and 470 friend requests... Why are you tolerating Gender Discrimination? 2. People who don't even have licence in real life have cars on fb... Why do you allow blackmailing? 3. People who are kept and notworking in real life are CEOs onfb... Why do you allow scams? 4. Everyone writes prayers on fb but in real life they never have time to kneel down and pray... Why don't you remind them that you are not God? 5. Everyone on fb likes to see a status pronouncing blessings on them but they never bless others in real life... Can't you stop that selfishness? 6. If facebook is about meetingand making new friends, why do you block me when I try doing so? Must I know everyone? Lemme send d request to Ekaitte, she stays in my street. Please look into these issues. Yours' concerned addict, Akpors.

AKPOS

Posted by Angel❤ on , under | comments (0)



HI 9JA
Akpos was about to die,so he decided to call a pastor.The doctor said that the level of alcohol in his system has destroyed his liver and he has only a day to live.The pastor told akpors to say after him,"Lord as i come to join you in paradise,accept my soul.Forgive me of all my sins and make me whole".After all the recitation,akpors said that he has one last wish.The pastor asked,"what is it?".Akpors replied,"Could u get me one last bottle of beer".

Akpos the lecturer in Gwagalada, University of Abuja decided to give his students a test. He asked them to write the answers as he read out the questions. Instructions says: Canceling answers not allowed) Akpors the Lecturer: Question 1: What's your favorite food? [10 mrks] Female students were writing, Pizza, fried rice, Hamburger, icecream, sharwama and all sorts of Chinese cuisine..... Lecturer Akpors: Question 2: How do you prepare the food? [50 marks] Huh!! immediately, the female students started cancelling andchanging the foods to, beans, cocoyam, & abacha, bolee and porridge yam, indomine, white rice with no soup!!! why Do Girls Pretend?

1. OCHUKO: y are sleepin on topof d wall clock? AKPORS: bcos my fada said i shuld wake up on time 2. EKAITTE: since we started dating, u hardly smile, y? AKPORS: dat is bcos u said u wanted a serious relationship 3. OCHUKO: wetin u dey do? AKPORS: I wan hang myself to death OCHUKO: y u come tie d rope for ur waist na? AKPORS: Bros, dat neck own dey pain ooo

After blocking Akpors from sending friend request to Ekaitte, he wrote a letter to fb. Dear Facebook, It's with great pleasure that I write to you. Firstly, allow me to express my sincere thanks to you for allowing me to be on you and indeed for giving me thousands of cyber friends.Further thanks for allowing meto keep in touch with my loved ones. But I have a few observations to make. 1. When a man updates their status, they'll get 2 likes and 3 comments from their former classmates and 0 friend requests... but if the same status is updated by a lady, they get 170 likes, 350 comments and 470 friend requests... Why are you tolerating Gender Discrimination? 2. People who don't even have licence in real life have cars on fb... Why do you allow blackmailing? 3. People who are kept and notworking in real life are CEOs onfb... Why do you allow scams? 4. Everyone writes prayers on fb but in real life they never have time to kneel down and pray... Why don't you remind them that you are not God? 5. Everyone on fb likes to see a status pronouncing blessings on them but they never bless others in real life... Can't you stop that selfishness? 6. If facebook is about meetingand making new friends, why do you block me when I try doing so? Must I know everyone? Lemme send d request to Ekaitte, she stays in my street. Please look into these issues. Yours' concerned addict, Akpors.

Naija movies

Posted by Angel❤ on , under | comments (0)



Naija movies don over tire me ooo,imagine wen Omotola is depicted as a poor woman suffering in the village and has to do serious farm work to survive, only for you to see that her fingernails are fixed with long plastic nails and painted crimson red. ~ Tonto Dike acting a born again village girl, yet has tattoos on her body. ~ Someone dies with low cut and his spirit comes back wearing afro... Na wetin? ~ A woman suddenly decides to poison her husband, then she opens her food cabinet and brings out the substance. Is poison part of cooking ingredients? ~ They shoot you on the leg yet blood starts coming out from your nose. ~ John Okafor(Ibu) is the father ofNkem Owoh.. Biko who is older? ~ You must cough before you die...?Lmao.. Abeg no forget to follow @MyXA4REAL

AKPORS IN THE GYM

Posted by Angel❤ on , under | comments (0)



Akpors went to the gym 1 day to do some exercise. On getting there Akpors saw dis beatiful lady doing PRESS-UP and she was counting 103, 104,105. . Seeing dis akpors decided to impress the lady, he got down n started counting. By the time Akpors got to 19, his muscles were out of place n arms shaking. . Akpors summed up courage n walked to d lady. . Akpors: wow!, m amazed, a lady like u doing PRESS-UP to a 105?. Lady: Well, I normally start my counting from 100. . Akpors: *shocked* (immediately acouple entered d gym) Akpors got down and started counting 4001,4002,4003. Problem?.

Akpors

Posted by Angel❤ on Friday, May 24, 2013 , under | comments (0)



AKPORS VISITATION TO HEAVEN
Akpors fainted and was taken up to heaven, in heaven he saw clocks and asked
Akpors: what clocks are these
Angel: lie clocks, each time anyone on earth lies it moves
Akpors: whose clock is that?
Angel: Mother Theresa, her clock didn't move because while on earth she didn't lie
Akpors: what of the clocks for nigerian politicians?
Angel: They arE in our office , we use them as fan!!
Lolz


AkPORS THE MADMAN
A pilot was transporting a bunch
of madmen
from Lagos to a psychiatric facility
in
Johannesburg, South Africa.
The madmen were making noise. So, one of them (Akpos) entered the
Pilot’s
Cabin;
MADMAN (Akpos): Teach me how to
fly a
plane! PILOT : I would, but under one
condition.
Akpos : What ?
PILOT : If you can get your
colleagues to keep
quiet. (5 minutes later, the plane was
very quiet!
PILOT : Wow!! How did you get
them to keep
quiet ?
Akpos: I opened the door and asked them
to go and play outside!! 

Obioma & Akpos.. 2 Stupid Fools!!
 Obioma & Akpos dey scatter fight outside examination hall, classmates gather. Wetin happen na?
Akpos: Dis idiot copy me 4 exam!
Obioma: Copy wetin? I no write anything, na blank sheet i submit!
Akpos: Una don see am? Na blank sheet I submit too! The examiner go think say we copy from each other!.



A MUST READ!!! AKPORORO AND OCHUKO TELEPHONE WAHALA!
Akpors: Ochuko! dis MTN people are eating our money too much o;->
Ochuko: abi!,d Stealing is too much,i can't continue
Akpors:We would start using pigeon 2 communicate..u will put ur message in the pigeons leg and send it
Ochuko: AKPORORO your head is there..dats what we would do
The Next day akpors sends his pigeon to Ochuko...Ochuko checks the pigeon and doesnt find any message..He den goes to Akpors house
Ochuko: Yaay man,y u send me pigeon with no message
Akpors: Chairman that 1 na missed call

A MUST READ{2 GOD,U MUST LAFF}...
Last night, boy drops the girl at her home, standing by the gate, he puts his hand on the wall n said....
"Can I kiss you?".
Girl: No, not today....
Boy: Please....
Girl: No.....
Boy: Please, give me....
Girl: No, not today....
This continued for 10 minutes,.
Then Girl's little brother appeared at the door, says....
Dad is saying, whether you give him kiss or not, it's your decision.....
but tell that bastard to remove his hand from the intercom button....
Everyone at home are listening 2 both of you..

Akpos

Posted by Angel❤ on , under | comments (0)



DAD: What's 10 plus 10? AKPOS: I don't know. DAD: Idiot! You can't answer such a cheap sum...Your stupidity will kill you. AKPOS: Daddy, if you saw a 1000 naira note and a 500 naira note which would you pick? DAD: 1000 of course AKPOS: Idiot! Can't you pick both? Poverty will kill you.